Five Star Fathers
Whole World Environment Day
Five Star Fathers
Whole World Environment Day
Deviating from the norm of this blog, I share this article to bring light and hope to parents who have been alienated or estranged by a child.
Estrangement is not normal, so the rules of normalcy do not apply. I urge you to read each of the 8 stages slowly and carefully. I pray that you will glean a nugget, a treasure you can hold in your heart to help you move forward. I finally feel I am moving forward…less pain, more acceptance, and more healing.
May the God of love, mercy, and healing be with you and your pain today. May tomorrow be less stressful, less painful, and much brighter.
There are eight stages of estrangement between a parent and child. In this article, a child refers to any child at any age, including adult children. The estrangement in this article is the estrangement of a son and a mother. A son blocked his mother from social media and stopped all communication with her. She tried endlessly to reconnect to no avail. Ten years later, she still does not know what triggered the estrangement. Parent alienation may have been at play.
Estrangement and grief go hand-in-hand because, at some level, estrangement is loss, and so is death. The difference is that death is final, and estrangement may not necessarily be absolute. There is hope in estrangement. Death is final. One could probably argue that hope is not healthy, and perhaps hoping less will lead to more efficient healing.
On the other hand, others will continue to hope – a glass-half-full, half-empty type of analogy. Emotions play a critical role in the process of healing from loss. Individuals who are more empathetic and have more of an advocate personality may have a slightly more difficult time processing loss. Those who are less empathetic and more optimistic may have an easier time with loss.
According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, experiencing these five stages of grief, regardless of order or even vacillating between each one, leads to healing. There is plenty of information on the internet regarding grief. Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief are:
In estrangement, a similar set of components are necessary for healing and moving forward. This process can take years or even decades to complete in both grief and estrangement. The eight stages of estrangement are:
Acceptance Part 1
Shame and Blame
Acceptance Part 2
Denial is not believing a situation exists. It is pretending that the estrangement is not real and hoping it will disappear. Surely, a child cannot estrange themself from a parent. What type of child would do that? Denial is a normal response, and it is the path of least resistance. It is typically short-term. Eventually, denial replaces accepting the reality of the situation, whether the parent likes it or not. In death, denial does not want to believe a loved one has passed on from this world onto the next. Denial is a defense mechanism wishing the estrangement is not absolute, and normalcy will return. However, that is often not the case. Once parents understand the estrangement is not going away, Acceptance Part 1 begins.
Once the denial phase is over, a parent begins to accept the concept of estrangement. A parent first seeks to understand the growing number of estranged parent-child relationships by scouring the internet for possible resources on the subject. A parent may not even know how commonplace it is and can quickly become an expert on the topic realizing other parents have encountered a similar situation. In this Acceptance Part 1 stage, a parent acknowledges that the parent-child relationship has changed. At this stage, reconnection becomes an obsession. A parent attempts to discover the reasons that led to the estrangement and remains hopeful for reconciliation. During this stage, a parent realizes that the relationship that once was is no longer. Coming to terms with this acceptance leads to rejection. Furthermore, feeling both accepting of the situation and rejection by it simultaneously is quite common.
Rejection is an emptiness and a feeling of loss and causes both physical and emotional stress. Rejection of a parent by a child is a traumatic experience. It is very much related to power and control. A child has exerted power and control over the relationship by walking away from it, which is hurtful. Reactions such as anxiety, panic attacks, and other physical pain or stress occur when rejection occurs. If estrangement occurs during a divorce, a rejection by a child can add fuel to the fire of feeling rejected by the spouse. In some cases, an entire set of relatives and friends disappear in what may seem like an instant. During this stage, a parent feels physically and emotionally depleted. Lost. Loss of a child. Loss of a marriage. Loss of a family. Loss of what was. Loss of what was to be.
Shame typically begins during the rejection phase after a parent has worked through the acceptance part 1. The reality of the estrangement starts to set in. The questioning begins. A parent may think they lack parenting skills. What on earth did a parent do for a child to shut a parent out completely? Or, what did a parent not do? This stage is when a parent internalizes the pain and questions the validity of the source. Frequently, a parent does not know the reason(s) for the estrangement. A parent begins to feel shame. The mere thought of a child rejecting a parent is vile; therefore, a parent experiences shame. A deep to the core type of shame. The shame of a child’s rejection and the shame of what behavior a parent may have or may not have done or said or not said. Shame and blame often coincide. A parent blames themself. A parent blames a child. A parent blames a spouse (or former spouse). Or, in the case of parent alienation, blames a court system. In the end, the question remains, was the estrangement caused by another human being? Or was the estrangement caused by an action? A miscommunication? A series of misfortunate incidents? Lack of communication? Or no communication at all? There is blame, shame, and anger all around.
Anger is the reaction to an unpleasant situation. It is a normal emotion and frequently occurs in the everydayness of life. The anger resulting from estrangement runs deep – much more profound than the everyday kind. This one is the ugly cousin of shame and blame. This anger is volatile, yet, it can also be quietly simmering beneath the surface, waiting to explode. During the estrangement process, anger is necessary. It is anger with oneself, a child, a spouse or former spouse, family, friends, and even God. Anger that questions the estrangement and the role others may or may not have played to either lead to the estrangement or to support and encourage it. Did a parent do all they could do to prevent this? Did a spouse (or former spouse) encourage counseling? Did family members disown the estranged parent or intervene? Was there a feeling of hopelessness? Or did not do enough? Or did too much? This anger phase involves questioning oneself and others, which is necessary for healing. It is vital to vent by deep breathing, talking to a therapist or friend, exercising, or alleviating the stress that builds from the anger during this anger stage. Even though thoughts of murder, suicide, and kidnapping may occur, one cannot act upon them.
Once the anger has dissipated, a parent can start the next phase of Acceptance Part 2. This stage is where a parent accepts the estrangement as part of a bigger picture whereby a child may not have estranged willingly. Or thoughtfully. Or knowingly that the estrangement would last for months, years, or decades. The acceptance stage acknowledges that a child may not know how to reconcile. It also comes to terms with a child making “no contact” and respecting the decision. This stage is a promising one. Once a parent has accepted the estrangement as part of life’s circumstances, a parent can start to let go of the past and realize that there may be no future with an estranged child. A parent should no longer attempt to mail letters, send friend requests, and ask others who may know the child for any information. This stage is tough to journey through, especially for hopeful and generally optimistic people. Thinking that one day, reconciliation may happen conjures up visions of unicorns and torture. The goal of Acceptance Part 2 is peace and respect for oneself and others, including an estranged child.
This stage involves non-estranged children. It is the fear of potential estrangement from another child. After estrangement, fear clouds the relationship between a parent and the non-estranged child. This fear negatively influences parenting decisions. A parent will discipline the non-estranged child less. A parent will adjust their communication for fear that something said will trigger the non-estranged child to estrange. Is the fear realistic? For a parent who has lost a valued relationship with one child – the fear is real – it is a perceived danger and potential threat. The risk of losing another relationship often leads to also avoiding intimate conversations. The relationship is fragile, and a parent wants to guard it to ensure it does not break. Living and parenting with the fear of estrangement are not easy. It is a difficult stage to endure and learning to live day by day keeping worry at bay is a good goal to have. As the non-estranged child matures, the fear of estrangement may dissipate based on their behaviors and communication.
Healing comes in all sizes and shapes, and moving forward with life and becoming unstuck, is essential. Healing can begin with writing, therapy, exercise, or workshops. Breathing retreats can help. Seminars on Living a Miraculous Life can help. Spiritual vacations can help. Whatever helps heal a parent from estrangement is worth doing, especially if it means being open to a conversation with someone who loves a craft or activity that you do not. No matter how healing takes place, there is nothing more important in this world than for a parent to be their best authentic self.
About the Author
Ruth is a blogger of I and Thou Reflections on WordPress and Facebook. WordPress exhibits her heartfelt reflections on life, love, and relationships. Facebook contains excerpts from her devotional book on human relationships as well as her I and Thou Reflections. She has authored a fiction book on love, travel, marriage, and separation due out at the end of this year. Ruth has also written a 365 devotional on reflections on God, scripture, and human relationships, which will be part of a series tentatively titled, Sacred Traits, hoping to publish in the following year. Ruth is currently working on numerous other writing projects, including a Career Journal. She is a former director of career services at the University of the Ozarks in Clarksville, AR, and Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, NJ. Her younger son recently graduated college and lives on the east coast. Ruth’s eldest son lives on the west coast and estranged from her more than ten years ago. Through research, writing, and prayer, she has healed to the point where she can respect his feelings and remains hopeful for a reconciliation.
So, what would you do if you found out you were Irish one day?
I grew up being told I was 1/2 Dutch and 1/2 English. Black and white – clear as glass. I also remember growing up sensing that our family didn’t have anything in common with Irish people (or other people who were not like my parents.)
I also think my parents placed people and groups into stereotypical buckets. And, sadly, I probably did it to in my growing up and young adult years. But that was eons ago, and that is just how some people felt in the early to mid- 1900’s. I don’t fault them at all – they were kind, loving people for the most part!
Recently, one of my brothers did a DNA test and found out we had some Irish – which is probably making my dad roll over in his grave.
So, what did I do when I found out I had a bit of Irish in me? My first instinct was to think, “Hmm, I wonder what else my parent’s didn’t tell me…How did they not know this?” After the initial shock, I thanked God for creating the universe with diversity, making people in all colors, ethnicities, shapes, and sizes. And I thanked God for good old Irish Whiskey!
Enjoy your bangers with mash and have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Valentine’s Day – Share the love!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.
– 1 Thessalonians 4:9
Does this scripture remind you of Valentine’s Day?
What exactly are its origins?
Have you heard about the god of Lupercus?
Well, apparently, that is how it all started. According to americancatholic.org,
The roots of St. Valentine’s Day lie in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, celebrated on Feb. 15. For 800 years, the Romans had dedicated this day to the god Lupercus. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.1The Catholic Roots of Valentine’s Day
Sexual companionship for an entire year may sound appealing, especially during a pandemic; yet, what happens after the year is up?
Long-lasting relationships are built on love. Love is sharing simple things in life, such as walking in the park, cooking a meal, giggling while watching a comedy, or discussing life’s spiritual mysteriousness. And, when you find love, it is like winning a lottery – every day.
During the 18th Century in England, Valentine’s Day evolved into a card and flower-giving holiday celebrating love and romance. Maybe this holiday is an opportunity to proclaim God’s love for humankind?
Let’s think about spreading God’s love, not by participating in the billion-dollar holiday it has become but by simply loving others. Welcome God’s love and share it with others. This special once-a-year day reminds us to show our appreciation for one another. For partners. For family members. For church members. For Friends. So, embrace love. Let Valentine’s Day become an opportunity to express your love, respect, and friendship to someone in your life.
Action: Send Valentine Day wishes of love and laughter to all the special people in your life.
1Guest Author, The Catholic Roots of St. Valentine’s Day. Retrieved on November 2, 2016. .https://www.franciscan media.org/ the-catholic-roots-of-st-valentines-day/
Here is my first blog post for 2022…
Reflection on Luke 2:22-35
Mary and Joseph head north to Bethlehem, the town of David, for a census ordered by Caesar Augustus. Upon arrival to Joseph’s hometown, Mary gives birth to Jesus. The familiar Christmas cast expands to include Simeon and Anna in this chapter. Both of these older adults proclaim Jesus as Messiah. In this passage,
Simeon’s proclamation is his “ah-ha” moment, and it speaks to us about salvation, in other words, belonging.
Joseph belongs to the house of David, similar to us belonging to the home of our parents. And our children belong to us. So, where does all of this “belonging” fit in?
Luke does not tell us the lineage of Simeon. And maybe that is for a good reason. I’d like to think that Simeone is you and me!
A recent study found when social relationships provide a sense of belonging; people feel life has more meaning.* We know some of us are more social than others due to different personalities, levels of mood, amount of energy, and time. Whether we feel social or not, we can know with certainty that we do belong to the family of God. Why? Because God loves us. Nothing can separate that love from us. God’s love is eternal; it can bring us a sense of belonging and contentment.
As parents, we hope our children have a sense of belonging – to their heavenly Father and us. Earthly relationships can be full of disappointment and sadness when loved ones choose to be “un” belong themselves – stagnant, separated, divorced, or estranged. God never does this; like a parent, God accepts us and loves us unconditionally. This unconditional love makes us feel loved and provides us with a broad sense of belonging in life.
To those of you out in this world who have turned your back on unconditional love – maybe it’s time to turn back toward it again? Thoughts?
Action: Discuss belonging and separation with a loved one.
*Sense of Belonging Increases Meaningfulness of life. (n.d.). PSYBLOG. (Lambert et al., 2013).
Art Credit: Tara Patterson- Beauty4AshesArt
In Part 4, the last of the “Fall into the Bible” series, we will see how two Old Testament and one New Testament stories helps us understand how faith can thwart a military attack, surrendering power affirms God’s sovereignty and worship requires surrendering of self.
Read the three phrases below.
The characters in the 2 Samuel story for this blog post are King David, his son, Soloman, and an army of men who want to kill David. To better understand this 2 Samuel 17:12 verse, let’s read the entire sentence.
12 Then we will attack him wherever he may be found, and we will fall on him as dew settles on the ground. Neither he nor any of his men will be left alive.
Here, we see an army of men that will fall on David as dew settles on the ground. So, how does dew relate to this? Interesting minds want to know!
Going back to general science 101, we learn that temperature and air play critical roles in the dew process. The higher the temperature, the more water vapor the air holds. In the evening, depending on the atmospheric pressure and humidity, the air can no longer retain the water vapor, and hence water forms. It forms on the ground from the ground up, so it blankets the earth.
In Fall on him, it is an attack. Sudden. From all points. Like dew. Quite ominous when you think about it. In this scripture, it is not Spirit, like we saw in the previous blog post, Fall into the Bible – Part 1. It is an army of men planning to attack King David. At the end of this story, King David and his army are safe. Why are they safe? God keeps David safe because of the faith he has. King David lives till the age of seventy, passing the throne on to his son, Solomon.
In the second phrase, from the book of Ezekiel, the Lord is speaking through his Hebrew prophet, Ezekiel. There,
“The sword will fall from his hand” refers to Pharoah’s imminent loss of power. It is clearly God exerting influence and control over Egypt. It is a surrender. Let’s read the entire verse,
22 Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am against Pharaoh king of Egypt. I will break both his arms, the good arm as well as the broken one, and make the sword fall from his hand.
Hmmm. God will break Pharaoh’s arms? Metaphorically, of course! The visions of Ezekiel were prophetic and centered around judgment on Israel, Judgment of nations (Egypt as one of them), and future blessings for Israel. Then, Ezekiel warns of destruction. And in this scripture, we see the warning of the destruction of Egypt. Ezekiel taught the importance of people needing to affirm God’s sovereignty.
In our third phrase in the tenth verse of Chapter 4 in Revelation, there is a surrender.
“Fall down before him“
Surrender of self. It is also respect. Respect for God. Respect for themselves and others. Respect for the earth and the totality of creation leads to worship!
10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: 11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
What actually creates a stir in one’s soul? Is it Spirit? Is it logic? Is it faith? All good questions. For me, it is angels! The Godcidents, like the woman at the Rest Area the other day, overheard we didn’t have utensils for our lunch. She handed me four individually wrapped plastic utensils. Brilliant! Personal! It was a God Thing to me! All in the simple gesture of a kind person.
Over these past four blogs, we have broadened our perception of the word “fall.” Whether it be the Bright Light Path, the Deep Dark Path, or the Path Filled with Grace, we have seen it used for spiritual and physical purposes. If we choose to allow the Spirit of God to enter our life, we gain spirit wisdom at the global, personal, and relationship levels. We have freedom of choice. Thanks be to God!
God of heaven and earth, hear our prayer…
Instead of falling into the hype of the holiday season, what would it look like if you took a step back and pondered what really is essential to you? Is it to mend a relationship? To spend more time with your children? Your parents? Or is it to reach out to someone less fortunate who could really use a helping hand?
Let’s focus on more simple ways of celebrating the holidays in this season of Thanksgiving. Shall we?
In this blog post, I will look at these “fall” phrases in The Bible where the word “fall” and the personal pronoun “me” is used. Go ahead and read each of them.
Who or what is falling? In Fall into the Bible – Part 1: Three Spirit Pearls of Wisdom for You, posted on October 11, 2021, we read how we can choose to accept God’s love or not. We learned that the Spirit of God provides us with inner Wisdom when we tap into the depths of our soul when we are quiet and receptive. This blog post will focus on Spirit and choosing the path filled with grace.
There certainly is a propensity to make good decisions and see the good in all things – don’t you think? Most of us like happy endings. The fairy tale. The underdog. The success story. Yet, in real life, we make decisions in situations where there is little information. Take dating. Do we go out with this new person? There is a choice. Trust and be positive or doubt and have anxiety. It does not need to be an either-or decision. We can be optimistic and still cautious as we enter into a new relationship.
Now, let’s look at a relationship with God. We really have little information. Right? God’s profile is not on a dating app. So, what exactly do we know? We know that there is a force in this world that made the world what it is. Genesis 1:1-2:3 details The Creation Story for those of you who might need a refresher. Simply, let’s just say that God created every living, breathing creature that exists today in the world. Are you with me so far?
In Genesis 1:2, “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” Then, in Genesis 2:7, we read, “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Then, fast forward a few thousand years, and we see in Matthew 3:16, “As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him.” Hmmm. So, here we have the Spirit of God from the Old Testament, making a debut in the New Testament.
If you are like me, you might now be thinking, what is the difference between the Spirit of God and the Holy Spirit? At first, having thought that the Holy Spirit was a New Testament construct, I was pretty surprised that the Holy Spirit was first mentioned in Psalm 51:11. It is when David lamented to God after he was rebuked by Nathan about his affair with Bathsheba and having her husband murdered, “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. My theory was incorrect. After a bit of digging, most scholars believe there to be no difference between the Spirit of God and the Holy Spirit. Whew! That’s a relief!
Back to the four verses above. Re-read them now.
Fall on me – Psalm 69:9 | Fall on me and my family – 2 Sam. 24:17
Fall in behind me – 2 Kings 9:18 | Fall away on account of me – Matt 26:31
In the context of Psalm 69, David is crying out to God, and he is asking God to save him, and he is feeling like a foreigner in his own home. Others’ insults of God “fall on him.” David is choosing to have faith and not let the insults get to him. David is choosing God.
From a different perspective, “fall on me” can be seen as a request that may sound something like this, “God, please have your spirit fall on me.” The same can be said about the second verse, “fall on me and my family.” We ask for the Spirit of God to shower us with love and blessings. We trust God in the hope that we “fall” toward the light. The light of the triune God. The light of Wisdom. The good. In other words, faith.
In 2 Samuel, God is asking David to prepare for battle against Israel. God was angry toward Israel and sent an angel to strike down people. When David saw what was going on, he begged God to punish him and his family to spare the innocent as he said to God, “Let your hand fall on me and my family.” So, here we see an angry God and a faithful David. In the end, David builds an altar and offers a burnt sacrifice, and God ends the battle.
“Fall on me” can also be a plea, especially in times of trial and tribulation. We may cry out, “Help us!” as we ask for protection. So, if God created every living creature, wouldn’t it be only natural for us to want to find favor with God?
As Christians, we all have strayed from time to time, and we have allowed Satan to influence us. Our decisions. Our friends. Our surroundings. Our entertainment. “Fall in behind me” is authoritative. It can refer to commanding Satan, or the Evil One, to “get behind me.” In this scenario, we exert our authority over Satan, and we begin to gain control of the situation. In other words, trying to turn a bad situation from spiraling out of control. If we don’t do that, evil can overcome us and separate us from God. We really don’t want to do that, do we?
In 2 Kings 9:18, Jehu was anointed by the prophet Elijah, King of Israel. Elijah instructs him to destroy the house of Ahab. As his enemies approach, Jehu asks, “Do you come in peace?” And, when they do not answer, Jehu commands them to “fall in behind me.” Jehu ends up killing two kings and ordering eunuchs to throw Jezebel out the window to her death, as seen in verse 36, “…This is the word of the Lord that he spoke through his servant Elijah the Tishbite: On the plot of ground at Jezreel dogs will devour Jezebel’s flesh.“
So, the question is, does sin really separate us from God? From the 2 Kings story, murder is condoned, which certainly adds a bit of mystery to the whole sin concept. Yet, we must remember that Jehu was following God’s instruction. As we see in the New Testament, God emerges as a more loving and less angry deity.
Sin does separate us from God; remember, there is grace. Grace to bring us back into harmony with God. When we feel God “falling away on account of me,” it is vital to recognize our shortcomings and ask God to help us overcome them. Not only when we strayed, but when we may have pushed God away.
Can you think of something or someone you may have lost or broken on account of something you said or did by pushing or pulling too hard? I know that I tried too hard with my children. To be completely different from my mother, I wanted to be the “involved” mother to my children. You know the type. The one who is the class parent. Then, the head of all the class parents. The parent who leads one of the segments of the annual school play and teaches Sunday School. The one that just goes over the top. Pushing too hard without even realizing that being involved with all the “parent” activities, there was very little time left to play that favorite video game. Or the patience to play the Monopoly game. Or the time to just be there when my child needed me the most. Even in the bad…there is good news! The good news is God loves us even when we push, pull, or fall away.
Separation from God may prevent us from blessings; yet, accepting God’s invitation of love and grace gets us back on track. The right track. The track to more blessings. The path that grants us the privilege and honor to be called a child of God.
Watercolor by: Jose Trujillo
When the Spirit of God falls on you, there is a choice. Do you accept it? Or deny it? If you choose the Spirit, then the Spirit will enter the very depth of your soul.
So, how do you think that happens?
In this blog post, I have taken the liberty of looking at random phrases in The Bible where the word “fall” is used. I will focus on “fall” and the personal pronoun “you.” Go ahead and read each of them:
Now, reread them slowly. What themes come to your mind? The themes of Spirit and relationship come to my mind when I read these phrases collectively. For the sake of clarity, let’s call Spirit the voice of God. For me, the Spirit can fall on me, upon me, within me, and away on account of me. Relationship, for this blog post, refers to two people who interact at some level. They can be couples, family members, friends, and colleagues. Like the Spirit, relationships can fall on me, upon me, within me, and away on account of me. Let’s further explore – shall we?
Falling on you and falling upon you are interchangeable and simply means the Spirit is with you. Falling within you refers to an inward flow of the Spirit through you, and falling away on account of you seems to me to imply a divide or separation. How about you?
When the Spirit of God falls on you, there is a choice. Do you accept it? Or deny it? And, when there is a falling away, what prompted it? A behavior. An action. A word. Or, perhaps sin!
For me, Spirit and relationship intertwine, and I can’t have one without the other. For me, it is about faith. Faith in God. Faith in myself and faith in others. If you surrender yourself to a higher power and open your mind to new possibilities, I believe the Spirit within you will attract others who may need or want you to be in your life. And, that may be a greater purpose is being fulfilled. And, how awesome is that?
How often do you ask God to help people? Feed the hungry. Give to the poor. Shelter the homeless and support meaningful organizations. I call these global needs – praying and meditating on the world as one family. One humankind. One connection. Humans connecting through shared needs. I would venture to say that the majority of us have asked God to help others. Whether it has been for a sick loved one or to comfort a family in losing a loved one.
In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, he refers to the most attainable need as “physiological needs,” what I call” shared needs.” For example, how food and water sustain life. He refers to the least attainable need as “self-actualization” as the highest level of psychological development where the personal potential is fulfilled. I call this “being the best human you can be.” And, how can you become the best human you can be?
What if you flip this thought process upside down and connect to all the people in the world through the Spirit, focusing on shared needs and replacing personal potential with collective potential? What do you think? For me, it is similar to the concept of “it takes a village.” It is collective potential that makes the world a better place. One family under God. Global!
As you tap into the wisdom of the Spirit, you have every human right to bring your personal thoughts and requests forward. Pray. Meditate. Bring value to yourself and to others. Open your heart and let God hear you!
Keep in mind that seeking wisdom from the Spirit enhances yourself, your relationships, day-to-day issues, and decisions. In contrast to the global level, the personal level encourages you to see yourself through the eyes of others. How do others perceive you? What type of personal work do you need to do on yourself – for yourself? How are your compassion, empathy, servant leadership, and acceptance levels? Do they pass the test of time? Or, are you like me, and you have to work at being more compassionate and accepting? There is time to change. Always! So, what can you do to make yourself a better person?
Jesus! Do you ever wonder about Jesus and His life on earth? His childhood? What types of food He liked? What or who comforted Him? I don’t have a clue. I do know that Jesus took an interest in others before, during, and after He received the Spirit as the dove descended upon Him while being baptized by John. It is this same Spirit that can enter you. What are you waiting for?
Jesus loved, healed, and offered eternal life and knew He was unique. He knew He was a part of God – from the beginning. And during his life, He consistently prayed to God. Being the best starts with understanding your unique place in the world and balancing yourself in a relationship with others. Just like Jesus did. With Jesus – it is personal!
For me, relationships can fall on me, fall upon me, fall within me and fall away on account of me. Relationships that fall on or upon you are those where people cross your life path. To help you for a season or more. Take siblings, for example. You grow up with brothers or sisters, or both, and typically have a relationship with them for your entire life, whereas others come and go throughout your lifetime.
Relationships that fall within you are those relationships that tug at the core of your being. It could be how you talk to God. Do you talk to God? Or when you marry. Or when you have children. Falling within means the person takes up residence in your heart, and these relationships take time, energy, and if you really want it to work well, financial resources. Sure, you can love someone and spend time with them doing activities that don’t require money, such as playing frisbee in the park, taking turns reading a good book, and walking on the beach. Yet, at some point, you will have to eat and sleep. For me, money equals trust. That has been my experience time and time again. Just ask me!
When a relationship does fall away, ask yourself, was it your behavior, an action, or a word? If a relationship divides or separation occurs, perform an introspection. Ask the Spirit to reveal what may have caused the rift. Sometimes, relationships fall away and have nothing to do with you, or your behavior, action, or word stressing the relationship. In some cases, people fall away for their own reasons. Whatever the case, be sure to seek wisdom from the Spirit. Reflect on yourself, make changes when and if appropriate, and follow the call of God.
When the Spirit of God falls on you, there is a choice. Do you accept it? Or deny it? If you receive it, the Spirit can guide you globally and personally in all of your relationships by tapping into its wisdom!
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